Week 6 - Reflective Entry

I think this week’s session went really well. I noticed that everyone seemed more relaxed in the different roles, and I think we all feel more confident as well. I also like how we are able to open up to each other. Usually I need time before I am able to do that, but because these coaching assignments teach us how to communicate more openly, and to view our lives in a different perspective, I somehow find it less intimidating to “reveal” myself.

I noticed that in order for us to be able to perform this week’s assignment, we all had made careful plans before executing them. In my case I planned a structure for the case, in Zahra’s case she planned how she was going to express herself, and Agata did some research before talking to her friends. So it seems to me that in order for us all to truly gain power, we need to be prepared. Power is not something that is handed to you, you have to work on it.

When I was being coached, I felt my coach asked some really interesting and intriguing questions. She made me realize that perhaps my fear of power comes from my fear of rejection and my lack of experience. I often fear how people will react to what I have to say, especially if their reaction is going to be negative. And this is something I now know I need to work on for the future. Because in your work life, as well as your personal life, it’s not always going to be smooth sailing. You will encounter people that will disagree, that maybe even will get mad at you, and you have to know how to deal with it. If I continue to fear other people’s reactions, I will not be able to grow as a person, because I will let other people define me.

When we talked about my effort with my group, my coachee asked me if I was aware of my power within the group. For me this was really interesting. Because people have power in groups, but often we’re not aware of this, or we don’t know how to use it. And I think maybe this is a key issue in group dynamics. Everyone has a say, and in group projects such as mine there is no designated leader, and this creates a problem, because people don’t really know how to act.

As a coach I found that I was more relaxed now. Maybe because I’ve gotten to know my group a little better, and also because we now have some experience with the different roles. I feel somewhat more confident now, while I still notice that I need to improve on certain aspects. As an observer I notice that I find it harder and harder to not participate in the conversation. I sometimes forget and am about to interrupt the others to ask a question, but I usually am able to refocus and regain my role as an observer.

What I also liked in this coaching session, was that in the end we discussed our experiences some more, as a group. We talked about differences in behaviors and reactions in certain situations, and we tried to explain our points of view and build on what the others had said.