W9 - Reflectuve entry by Zahra

This week’s assignment was helpful (like the previous ones), I kind of consider it to be more like an activity that an assignment. Having to keep a gratitude journal was a new thing for me, I have never thought about it. At first I thought it was amusing because I have so many things that I am grateful for but having to write only three specific entries was a bit challenging. I actually asked one of the team members if it was an easy task to narrow down her choices to only three. 

It was an interesting experience for all the three of us. In fact, the three of us realized that we should work on this gratitude aspect and be more thankful for what we have in our lives. It is clear that we know that we are lucky to have amazing parents who support us no matter what and friends who love us deeply. But as Agata said maybe we should tell them that more often and most importantly we should express our feelings more. So communicating how we really feel to the persons who contribute to our happiness is something that should become part of our everyday priorities.

Keeping a gratitude journal this week was beneficial for all of us. It has also made an impact on us and on our behavior because it brought us back to the past and to remembering the great moments that we had spent with our families and friends.

As a coach, I felt that the coachee was really into the subject and that she was sharing a lot of valuable information. The coachee was also emotional at times when talking about her father which made us go deeper on our feelings. We felt a great connection between the three of us especially because we appreciate our families and we care a lot about them. As a coachee, I tried to open up a little more and I felt that the coach was really enjoying the discussion. She asked some interesting questions that helped me share more information and talk freely about the three entries. As an observer, I had to make sure that all the five key processes of a coaching conversation were implemented in the discussion and they were.

The gratitude journal makes you see and be aware of the positive aspects that you have in your life. Becoming aware of what you have is certainly a good step towards a rewarding change. I don’t know if I am going to keep the gratitude journal for the rest of my life but I am going to try and be more appreciative for all the good things that I got. It is really difficult to do so because when you get caught in your everyday routine you certainly forget about sharing your feelings and emotions. I am sure that our parents and friends like us for who we are and we are blessed to have them sharing the good and the bad times. That’s why thanking them is the least that we can do.

Week 9 - Reflective Entry

My role as a coach:

As a coach for this assignment, I tried to get my coachee to focus on the future. I first asked her how this assignment had affected her this week, in order for her to reflect on the different aspects of the assignment. Then I went on to see if she believed it would have any long term effects and if she would continue to show gratitude. I wished to have her reflect on how this could potentially help in leading positive change.

I felt we were able to have a good conversation. The flow of it felt natural, and the questions came easy. I also had the feeling that my coachee was able to really reflect on the questions and provide satisfying answers. And as my coachee reflected on the questions, I realized that being more grateful might also affect the people around us. When we receive a compliment, or a token of appreciation, our spirit is lifted. Thinking of this made the connection between gratitude and leading positive change clearer for me. I believe showing gratitude might be very beneficial in a work situation – it will help co-workers feel appreciated, acknowledged and it might also motivate them even more.

My role as a coachee:

As a coachee, I was asked about maturity in relation to gratitude. After sharing my example about having dinner served every day growing up, my coach asked me if this perhaps was due to maturity. And I would have to agree with this. As a child I took it for granted, but now, coming home for the holidays is an extra treat, and I appreciate the efforts my parents make. Perhaps gratitude in fact comes with maturity. You gain insight in the efforts behind other people’s actions, and knowing what these actions demand, you gain new insight and gratitude.

My coach also asked me about vulnerability, and if I think this is a factor when discussing gratitude. What if you show gratitude and this is not appreciated? This had been the case for her, but I had not connected these two concepts before, so for me this was an interesting and new perspective.

She also asked me if I would continue keeping a gratitude journal. And I think it would be a good idea. Right now, after this assignment, I am more aware of my gratitude towards other people. But if I don’t continue to keep focus on it, I feel it is likely to escape my mind, and then pretty soon I will find myself in my old habits again. And because my goal is to improve showing gratitude, I’ve decided to keep a list of what I am grateful for, in addition to whom I want to show gratitude towards. Hopefully, this will eventually lead me to show my gratitude more naturally in the future, and might be a positive factor in my work life.

Ingrid Elisabeth Sørensen

Reflective entry week 9 (Agata S.)

This week assignment was an opportunity for me to make introspection about who I become during all those years of living and to whom I need to be thankful for the person I am now, and what do I need to do to continue this way or even get better. This introspection was common to the 3 of us, because we truly realized that we are lucky people and that we should be grateful for that every single day. Nevertheless we forget about that in our daily life and we tend to emphasize the negative parts of our lives because it’s easier to feel miserable after something that didn’t go the way we wanted it to go, than taking a minute to reflect about what just happened and the reasons why in order to make it better. We had to put words on the feelings of gratefulness we had inside to really realize them. This grateful journal assignment is a new challenge for the three of us, as we decided that we will keep it in order to write from time to time what we are grateful for, because it helped us.

Being the observer was very interesting as we shared our deepest feelings and I figured out that we had much more in common than we thought. Indeed, I had to hear the words said by my teammates so that it makes a “click” in my brain and that I can really realized it. As the coachee I felt really connected with my coach, I wasn’t ashamed of what I was feeling and it’s a big step for me as I am a person that doesn’t like to express her inner feelings because it makes me feel vulnerable, and being vulnerable expose me to pain. And as every human being I don’t like pain! The role of the coach was for me a bigger challenge this week than it was before. Indeed, I had to focus even more on the listening part in order to better understand my coachee and helped her efficiently. I have read her gratitude journal before the meeting and I found some similarities with mine, and I didn’t wanted to influence her through my own experience, but really focus on her.

After the three of us played all roles, we had a moment of exchanges where we asked questions to each other from a non coaching perspective but much more to share experiences. It comes out of nowhere but it felt so natural and the conversation was so smooth that we didn’t even think of leaving or interrupting the other person. In my opinion this coaching assignment was a turning point in our group. We realized that we can really share personal things to each other without being ashamed and that we have a lot in common. An atmosphere of trust and support of one another had been created, and it’s nice to know that we can really count on each other. Being honest, if you would have told me that such a relation will be created at the beginning of the semester, I will be very skeptical about it… and now I can only advise and wish to the other groups to have such a spirit as he have.

Week 9 Coaching Assignment - Leading Positive Change

Gratitude Journal for Ingrid Elisabeth Sørensen

Day 1:

I find this assignment to be interesting. Lately, with the workload increasing in school, I notice that I’m mostly just “going through the motions”, and mainly focusing on my school assignments. However, after reading the assignment I started to think about the good things in my life. Of course I thought of my family and friends right away. They are a huge part of my life, and now that I’m in a different country, and I’m not able to see them as often, I find myself missing them in a different way than when I’m studying back in my home country, but I’m in a different town than them. Before they were just a couple of hours away, now they’re on a different continent! And missing them makes me realize how important they are, and how thankful I actually am to have them in my life on a daily basis back home. Normally I take them as a given, because “they’re always there”. But I can’t say that right now, because I’m so far away. However, in a sense they’re still right here, because I know that I can still count on them. And that makes me very grateful.

Also, after coming here, my social life has naturally changed. I hang out with different people here than I do back home. When I arrived here I knew one person - the girl traveling with me. Other than that I was completely alone. But when I came here, I immediately got to know several different people, and they immediately became the friends I would hang out with for the rest of this semester. And so, I’m also grateful for the people that I’ve met here. Because they are the ones that get me out of bed and drag me to social events.

Day 2:
This week is pretty hectic. In a way, after writing the first entry, I was able to slow down for a short while and be more appreciative of what I’m doing and why. I got more focus on my goal and the purpose of my studying (to find a good job and become independent), and I was able to think more long term about why I’m doing this, and I felt it helped me breathe more slowly and regain my focus. Instead of just becoming more exhausted and overwhelmed by everything I had to do, I felt more of a drive to continue. Because no matter what, I can’t “escape” my responsibilities towards the school, and neither do I want to. But after a while, I often get stuck in a pattern with little variation, and sometimes it’s hard to see the end of the tunnel. But today I thought about my goals and the purpose behind the hard work that I do, and I was able to motivate myself and finish my work on time.

I also received an email with updates from back home, where my parents wanted to know how everything was going, and if I was still having a good time. This made me even more grateful for them. I got to thinking about everything they’ve done for me, in order for me to have a proper education, and how much they care about my future and my wellbeing.

Day 3:

Today someone surprised me with a coffee. We had an early meeting, and we were both tired. And when she arrived at our table she handed me the coffee with a smile. And it made my day. It was a small gesture of appreciation, but I could feel it. And it made the rest of the meeting feel lighter somehow. Because even though we were both tired and perhaps not the most motivated students at that hour, she had recognized my effort, and I wanted to show her that I had recognized hers by being effective and hard-working during our meeting.

After the meeting, I kept thinking about how I had been grateful for her gesture, and how it had brightened my day, and I couldn’t help but wonder when the last time I had made this type of gesture was? It doesn’t take a lot of effort, but it shows that you appreciate another person - it shows that you are grateful. So I decided then and there that I would try and show my gratitude more openly. For example, growing up with my parents, I’ve grown accustomed to having my dinner ready and waiting for me at the table, and not having to make it myself. I’ve also grown accustomed to saying thanks for the food after. But I can’t remember the last time I’ve actually stopped to think about the effort that goes in to making the food, and actually looking my parents in the eyes and truly saying thank you after.

I think that if I focus more on showing my gratitude, I can also become more grateful in return. By focusing on gratitude in itself, perhaps we can become more appreciative of the little things that are done every day, and eventually this will lead us to a more positive change.

Gratitude journal (3) by Zahra

Finally, I am grateful for having music in my life and by music I mean my old but amazing piano. I am so thankful that I have an instrument to perform on. Actually, playing the piano makes me very joyful and enthusiastic. It helps me express how I feel without having to talk. It is really an amazing instrument and I hope that I will never stop playing it. 

Why do I love playing the piano so much? Well, it is deeply related to my childhood. I was in fact a very shy person who didn’t open up to people very easily. My mother had the amazing idea of making me learn an instrument because she thought that this will help me get friends. She wasn’t wrong about that, piano lessons helped me gain confidence and most importantly have friends, more that I had expected actually. But to tell you the truth, this instrument needs a lot of practice, passion and a lot of dedication.

Aside from that, studies show that playing an instrument activates some parts (the dormant ones) of the human’s brain. I totally agree with this idea because when I am playing the piano I feel so alive and so energetic. This has also an impact on my behaviour, I generally feel calmer and happier during and after playing the piano. 

Unfortunately I couldn’t bring my piano with me and I miss it so much (it’s my therapy, in a way). I can’t wait to come back to my country for the holidays so I can be able to play it again.

Gratitude journal (2) by Zahra

The second thing that am grateful for is being able to study. The fact that I have completed my studies and that I am now pursuing an MBA in a foreign country makes me really happy and thankful. Having to leave my country and come to Canada for my studies was a really hard decision to make but I don’t regret it at all. In fact, I love living in this city and being able to discover how amazing this country really is.

Being able to study at Laval University is really rewording in a way. It has so many positive sides, for instance I have met you girls and a lot of other friends too. I will never forget the ‘single ladies night’ event; I was under a lot of stress and a lot of pressure and I have talked about it during the ‘life-balance analysis’ assignment. The amazing thing is that you have immediately responded by inviting me to this great event. It was a memorable evening and great memories that I will deeply cherish. Also, working with you girls during this session is really interesting, it makes me feel at ease. We have a great team spirit, we work really well together and we often have a good laugh.

Studying at Laval University helps me also gain a lot of knowledge. I am blessed to be able to meet great professors who love to share their knowledge with us. It is a privilege to be around such amazing people who help us accomplish our dreams.