Week 6 Coaching Assignment: Gaining Authentic Power and Influence

PLANNING

“Power need not be associated with aggression, brute force, craftiness, or deceit. Power can also be viewed as a sign of personal efficacy. It is the ability to mobilize resources to accomplish productive work.” (Developing Management Skills, p. 284) This is the mindset I need to get into! Power is also defined as “the potential to influence behavior” (Developing Management Skills, p. 286).

I often shy away from power, because I fear it. I fear not being able to handle it, or to misuse it in some way. So what I need to do is change my perspective of power, and view it more as “a sign of personal efficacy”. In this sense, I need to focus on being assertive and confident. People will not be willing to be influenced by someone who seems insecure of what they’re saying. Also I would like to focus on the power each individual have in a group, to influence each other. Often, in group projects, we lose precious time not being sure how to structure the assignment, how to divide the group work, etc. I would like to learn how to be more efficient in these certain situations, and how to influence other team members to be efficient as well. So to sum up; aspects of this skill that I would like to improve is assertiveness, showing confidence and being able to take control in an inefficient group.

I will try and apply my skill for a group project. In one of my classes we have a big project due for the end of the term. The same group has also worked together on a project earlier. And when we worked on this I noticed we had a lot of downtime, where nothing was really getting done. And I know that all the members of our group are very good workers, but it seems that we don’t really know how to work together. I think people are afraid of sounding “bossy”, afraid of getting stuck with all the work, or maybe they’re stressed about something else and they’re not making this project a priority. Either way, it took a lot of effort to get the work done, and I think the time we used to try and structure the work, could have been spent better. So for this next project I want to get the ball rolling quickly. The involved in this process will mainly be my team.

In order to apply this skill I will have to make some preparations. If I’m going to be more assertive, I will need to plan carefully and acquire knowledge about our assignment. Because I will not meet with my team in person this week, I’ve decided that writing an e-mail might be a good way to explain everything carefully. Allowing them to read through it thoroughly, might also let the message sink in more clearly. I will start the e-mail off by explaining why we need to get started soon. I will talk about the last assignment we did together, and how I feel we can use our time better. I will be careful as to not focus only on the negative aspects of the last group project, but rather focus on both aspects – what worked, and what didn’t work so well. I will also explain that by being more prepared and focused when having meetings, will enable us to be more efficient, which in turn might open up for more free time individually. Also, I think I need to explain why I think this is important. Because even though the project isn’t due until the end of the semester, I believe it is important to get started soon because everyone will be busy when the final exams approach. Then I will come with a suggestion as to how we can structure our next assignment, and ask their opinion about it, and if they have any suggestions of their own.

I hope that by taking more control in this situation, the other members of my group will appreciate it, and see that I only wish what is best for the team. I think that indicators of successful performance will be agreement among my team members in that we can improve ourselves from the last time, and that they appreciate my efforts. Hopefully my actions will not come across as “bossy” or as trying to “overtake” the group, and I will receive a positive e-mail back.

EVALUATION

After having sent my e-mail, I still haven’t received a response from everyone yet. But the two responses I got were mainly positive! One of my team members thought it was great of me to bring up the project at an early stage, and she agreed that we weren’t the most effective team the last time. She thanked me for coming up with a suggestion, and said she would read through it more thoroughly when she had the time, to see if this was something that could work. The other person that replied me also thought it was great that I took this initiative, but he said he wanted the team to meet in person as well, to discuss this (and potential other) structures. Which I also think sounds like a good idea. So I think the effect on the others can be said to be a positive one!

To improve myself, perhaps I can try and be even more inclusive. In the end of the mail I asked what they thought about my suggestion, but perhaps I should have also asked their opinion about the last project? Maybe someone got offended by me saying we weren’t effective enough last time? I think that maybe next time I will try and have this type of conversation in person. While there are some positive aspects with using e-mails, I recognize that some opportunities might be missed as well. I was not able to see their initial reaction, and perhaps we missed a chance to get everything out in the open and “clear the air”. When I e-mailed them what I thought didn’t work the last time, I didn’t really give them a chance to say how they felt about our previous project as well. So next time I will try to be even more inclusive.

Before sending the e-mail, I was quite nervous. This is unlike anything I’ve ever done before, as I’ve been afraid of being the one taking charge. And I felt nervous pretty much the whole time, until I got my first response. To be honest, I’m still a little nervous about the rest of the responses. But the surprising thing is that it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. Perhaps it was because I was physically separated from my group, but I felt like I could stand by the things I wrote, and that I would be able to defend my views, should it be necessary. So I think I’ve learned that there really isn’t any need to shy away from power and asserting influence, as long as you are able to use it for something positive and in a constructive way.

Power and influence AS

Coaching assignment week 6: Gaining authentic power and influence (AS)

PART 1: PLANNING

I would really like to improve my positive power and influence on my friends, that is to say I would like to be able to convince them more often to “say yes” to the activities I am proposing, and not giving up so easily.

I will apply this skill in asking them if they would like to institute a new habit: Sunday’s brunch until the end of the semester, as these are the very last few moments we are spending together in Canada. I will propose that idea at our usual diner time, so around 7 PM in the kitchen of the Parents Resident because it’s the moment where every one of us is present. I will start by sending them an inbox on Facebook (before dinner time) with the few places that I have found that seems to be nice for a brunch, to see how they react to that proposition so that I can able to measure the level of interest and find the right arguments, or in the worst case get rid of the idea.

To sum up I will propose my idea of brunch for this Sunday to my group of friends (5), at my dinner time on Saturday 7pm, in the kitchen of our residence.

I will come prepared to the dinner because I will know from the answers I got through Facebook if this is of any interest for them. If I see that one or two of my friends are very enthusiastic about the idea I will be very happy (if they answer in a positive way to the inbox) and maybe ask them for help if I see that the others are less motivated.

The indicators of my successful performance will be a quick response to my inbox and an enthusiastic response. Also if they propose some other places for brunch so that we can choose all together will be really awesome! This will indicate that the idea is good and that they are ready to goJ.

PART 2: EVALUATION

I have to say that it was quite a success! All of my friends said that it was a good idea and we went for the brunch! To a place called “Cosmo” and I really recommend it to you but please make a reservation before going because on Sundays it’s full of people!! We had a really nice time, and as it was something unusual everyone was kind of excited when we were on our way to the restaurant. It was a very nice feeling, being able to motivate all of my friends to go out on a Sunday morning outside the campus!

I really hope we will do it again J maybe not every week, but at least twice in a month. To cut the routine. For the next time I might only suggest a brunch and let my friends pick the place so that they can feel involve in the process as well. We can even proceed to a vote, it can bring some fun. We can even ask some other people to join us. I know that this time, all of them were free and were able to make it, but I am wondering if next time I will be able to gather the entire group together again. So I will propose the idea of the brunch in the middle of the week, so that everyone can manage its time to make things work so that we can spend time together again. The brunch time has to be a relaxing time, full of joy and good food, so the mood has to be there as well!!

Looking back on the skill practice, I realized that I was able to initiate something new and that I gather the group all together when normally everyone is in its room, studying or skyping or watching movies. 2 people of the group are really not into going out of the campus because they prefer staying in their room in case they will have to do an extra homework, and I was able to make them get out of the room and maybe for at least one hour make them relax and enjoy a new place.

This experience will help me in the long run to give ideas and my point of view on some activities. Without pushing people to do it, but just to let them know that it’s going to be something nice and good for them. I wasn’t begging them when they were reluctant at first, I was just telling them the benefits of such activity. I let them decide on their own only by giving my points and argumentsJ. 

Application plan and evaluation

As mentioned in this week’s assignment, we should consider applying the behavioral guidelines that are mentioned in the book so we can improve our skills when dealing with a critical situation.

So as a first step I’m going to mention the skills that are important to me. I actually have two aspects that I consider as my areas of weakness which I should work on and improve. The first one has to do with gaining power and the second one with having an influence on people. Right now, these are the two most important areas that I should talk about because I’m having a problem dealing with people who take advantage of the power that they have and I also find it difficult to like influence people (in a good way of course).

My choice came down to these two skills because I’m having trouble with one of my team members (not to worry girls, it’s not you but another group). Let me first explain the situation so you can get what I’m saying. I have a class in which all the assignments are made in groups, and the thing is that you can’t choose your team members because the professor thinks that we should get out of our comfort zone and get to work with people who we don’t particularly know.  At first it sounded like a great idea but everything has changed when one of my team members started to impose himself. All he did was talk about himself, about his work related experience, about the power that he has in the company that he works in and most importantly about his charisma and how this helps him to influence people and make them do all that he wants. Also, his behavior has a big impact on how the group's reacts because he likes to impose his ideas and he always manages to influence us into doing what he likes.

So you can notice that I am aware of the situation that I am in, but because of my lack of power (and especially the fact that I think that I don’t have as much experience or knowledge as him) and influence I find it hard to do something about it.

However, since this week’s assignment is about implementing the skills that I’ve been talking about, I have decided to apply them and see how it goes. So I had a meeting this morning with my team members in order to talk about our project and I kept in mind that I should at least try and implement the skills that I have studied. I had to engage some specific behaviors in order to apply this skills like showing my team members that I am a person who puts a lot of effort in what she does. I made it clear that I am a responsible person and I am willing to do what it takes to get a good grade. I have also stressed the fact that I am flexible, I like to improvise and do things differently. Then, I tried to influence my team members through reason (influence strategies: the three Rs) and I have presented some facts (direct approach) to show them that my ideas are reliable.

I can say that I was successful in doing so, I felt effective because the reaction of my team mates was positive and they were really supportive of my ideas. However, the ‘expert’ was very critical of my ideas.

For the evaluation part of the assignment, I can say that it wasn’t an easy task, I had to put a lot of effort in order to impose my power. I’m not saying that I succeeded in doing so but I feel better because I never thought that I would be able to stand up for my ideas, defend them and get my other team members to agree with me. I am happy because my ideas were implemented in the process and had a good effect on my team members (well, except for the ‘expert’). Also, next time I will try to gain more power and see if I can get ‘the expert’ to agree with some of my ideas.

Looking back on this whole skill practice and application experience I have learned that gaining power can be difficult and it demands a lot of courage. I was really surprised by the reaction of my team members, the fact that they were agreeing with me made me feel confident. This experience was interesting and it will certainly help me now and when I’ll get a job.

Have a nice week,

Zahra

In order to encourage us for the rest of the week!!! I believe in it, it gives positive energy :) 

:)

Hey girls I wanted to share with you that picture that I found:)
To me it can be related with our current topic of stress, because stress somehow is a feeling of fear.
What do you think ??

Have a great week!!

Reflective entry

I think that this week’s assignment was helpful, it made us realize that we don’t have a balance in our day to day activities. This exercise was also a good way to share my way of living and my activities with my colleagues. In fact, each member of the group felt more comfortable to ask specific questions and to intervene in a more active way. I personally felt more at ease and this made me share more information and listen actively to what is being said so I can be able to ask the right questions.

During the coaching exercise we have noticed that we have some points in common, for example two of the member’s group mentioned that they  have trouble saying ‘No’ to people because they don’t want to disappoint their families and friends, we also talked about the ‘Facebook addiction’ and how it can become a stress related activity. I can definitely say that stress was a major point in our conversation, we felt that we are under a lot of pressure (studies, social life, etc.) and that sometimes this can have a negative effect on our health and our relation with people. 

I feel like I have gone through some changes and I mean it in a positive way. During the first coaching exercise I kept thinking on what I should talk about and I was saying to myself ‘Ok, you mustn’t forget about the five key processes of a coaching conversation, they are the key to a good coaching experience’. But this time, I felt that it came pretty naturally (sometimes I didn’t even plan to ask a question or feel that I am interrupting the person who is talking) and that was the case for the three of us because the communication was going smoothly and effectively. 

We were really excited about sharing the results that came from the life-balance form and talk about it. As a coachee I had to talk about my form and explain in more details why I prioritize some activities and neglect others, I also talked about the things that I should improve on and my team members helped me realize what I need to work on and gave me some great advice. As a coach I got the opportunity to listen carefully to what the coachee was saying so I can ask effective questions. As an observer, I made sure that the coach was following the steps of the five key processes of a coaching conversation.

In sum, the life-balance form made us look at things differently, it made us realize that we have neglected some important aspects of our life, more importantly it helped us think about our real motivations and priorities. The three of us showed a lot of interest and compassion toward what was being said and we have tried our best to give advice that will be helpful and effective. I personally committed to work on my social life and do not focus only on my studies.