First coaching experience

Being able to play the role of a coach, a coachee and an observer was really special to me. In fact, the coaching exercise made me practice and know what this profession is really about. I had a great time and I have really enjoyed going through this experience with my classmates.

As I mentioned before, each member of the team played a different role (coach, coachee or observer) and this was very helpful because this made us understand the whole process of professional coaching.  I was the first to talk about my summary (as the coachee) and I felt a little bit intimidated at the beginning but as soon as the coach started to ask me questions and showed interest in what I was saying, I felt more at ease. I think that this was a general feeling, the conversation came naturally and we felt comfortable around each other. The team members also tried to stay focused on keeping the conversation going and to apply the five key processes of a coaching conversation; each one of us listened to what the other person had to say, asked questions without interrupting the person who was talking, paraphrased, etc.

I felt more comfortable as an observer because all I had to do was to see if the team members are following the five key processes of a coaching conversation and make some remarks at the end of the conversation. This task seemed to be pretty easy for the three of us.

Reflective entry : first coaching experience by Agata

This first experience as a coach was really interesting in terms of reflection. I have to admit that I was pretty nervous before doing that exercise because as I described it in my definition of a coach, being a coach is not something that everyone can do, you have to be a good listener and guide your coachee in a way that is going to help him without giving advices!

First, I played the role of the observer. It was very interesting to see how my teammates get along with each other. The discussion was so natural between the two of them that I was really impressed, and it made my level of stress go up! Then I had to play the role of the coachee. It was difficult at the beginning to well summarize my thoughts and ideas so that my coach understands what my point of view was. And I was really nice surprised, because my coach was able to help me in finding my words when I wasn’t able to find them, and she was summarizing my ideas in her own words that even helped me to find some new reflections. Finally my last role was to be the coach. When my coachee started to talk I had a lot of questions to ask her in order for me to better understand her thoughts and I sometimes didn’t know if it was a good thing that I was interrupting her. But at the end, I figured out that it even helped her to find her way of thoughts and to be sometimes more specific.

I have to say that this first experience was very instructive and it makes me want to learn more about the role of a coach. But I also came up with the conclusion that listening is the key point of being an effective coach. 

Week 2 - Reflective entry: Our first coaching experience by Ingrid Sorensen

Admittedly, beforehand I was somewhat nervous about doing this exercise. My fears especially involved my role as a coach and whether or not I would have anything constructive to come up with. But I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I immediately felt safe and secure in my group, and realized that it wasn’t as scary as anticipated.

While performing my role as a coach, I found that in many ways you are simply having a conversation. Every now and then it felt like a discussion between friends. However, I was still aware of my role, so I was cautious so as to not treat it completely like a regular conversation. And I also tried coming up with interesting questions to help the coachee discover things she perhaps had not thought about before.

For me, I felt that it really helped having a listener as well. After the coaching session, the listener would comment on the role of the coach, and give feedback as to how you did. This made me more confident that I was on the right track, and I became more relaxed with the situation.

While playing the role of the coachee, I found it somewhat difficult to try and reiterate my summary orally. Most likely this was due to my nervousness. But when my coach asked me questions allowing me to go “off script”, I found it easier to try and explain my opinions.

Being a listener was quite challenging as well. Because your focus shifts, and you’re trying to assess how another person is performing. But at the same time I feel that being a listener also helped me to think through how I should act while playing the role of the coach.

After the session, we went through some of the questions we had regarding the process of coaching itself. For instance, one of the girls wondered whether or not we should interrupt the coachee while she speaks. We were concerned that maybe this might come across as rude, but at the same time we thought it best to ask then and there. Had we waited until the coachee was finished with what she had to say, then perhaps we wouldn’t remember what we were referring to after. Also, the coachee might not be in the same mindset anymore, and it might be harder for her to answer. And as I mentioned earlier, for me it helped when my coach asked me questions during my “presentation” of my summary, because it enabled me to think about things I hadn’t thought about before.

All in all, I found this to be an interesting exercise!

My definition of a coach

Professional coaching can be very helpful to a lot of companies that have problems at many levels. As the professor mentioned on the previous session, coaching has many benefits; it can develop your learning skills, your people skills but most importantly it will help you to generate new knowledge about yourself at a professional and a personal level.

I personally consider a  coach as a missionary who has the hard duty of bringing the best out of people. In fact, a coach will not only help you see who you really are but he will also make you feel comfortable with who you are. But this cannot happen without a mutual agreement between the coach and coachee. 

Moreover, in order to be effective a coach needs to have some skills like the ability to create a coaching environment in which the people who are involved will be able to openly share their thoughts, also the coach must be aware that his role does not consist of giving advice but the majority of his actions will be based on listening (active listening) and mirroring. Also, as I learned during our first session, a coach needs to summarize or paraphrase (coming back to what have been said), to ask questions that are effective and to catalyze (show some interest toward the coachee).

An organization can use the help of an internal or external coach. I personally prefer using the help of an external coach because I think that he will see things as an outsider. In other words, an external coach will help me see things from a different angle and open my eyes to some aspects that I probably might have neglected. He will also give me a more honest evaluation of what I should work on and on my strengths and weaknesses.

The paper on leadership coaching and organizational transformation also mentions some great points about coaching. The authors mention that: “Leadership coaches do not necessarily provide answers to problems. They are not career advisors, consultants, mentors or trainers, but leadership coaching through inquiry does help individuals understand their own strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears”. So, a coach will be the person handing you the necessary tools so you can achieve your goals and he will back you up whenever you feel that you’re not on the right path. The coach will bring that “fresh look” to the organization and help the employees to enhance their managerial skills, creativity, etc. However, a coach should know that in order to succeed in his mission, he must first of all install or create an atmosphere of trust because people will find it difficult to open up if they are not secure (are not comfortable with each other) or they don’t trust each other. Trust can also be established when the coach encourages a more open and transparent communication and uses feedback so that he can measure if his methods are working effectively or not.

In sum, a coach has different ways to get you where you want to be but we should not forget that you should be willing to go through this process because sometimes it can take a lot of time to finally see who you really are and what you need to improve about your managerial skills.

A good coach by Ingrid Sorensen

Before having read anything about coaching, I viewed it as a one-on-one session, where the coach would try to teach the coachee something. But after reading more about it, I realized that the focus was not on the coach and his knowledge, but on the coachee and his learning process.

The main objective, as I see it, is to help the coachee towards self-realization. It’s not about telling him what to do or how to do it, it’s more about helping him and guiding him along the way. If the coachee has a problem, it’s not the coach’s job to tell him how to solve it, but to help the coachee realize how to solve the problem himself. I remember seeing a short film about the coach’s job, where the coach would provide the coachee with the tools to handle his problem, but also provide a safety net, should things go wrong. So in a way the coach is a supporting actor, helping you get to where you want to go.

But what is a good coach? A good coach, in my eyes, does not give you the answers. He helps you realize them on your own. One way to do this, is through inquiries. A good coach can ask leading questions, and help you to structure your own thoughts. I think it is important for the coach to focus on goal achievement, so that you realize what you want. It’s about developing the coachee as a person, to help him become more self-aware. But to be able to do this, it’s also very important to build trust among the coach and coachee. Without trust it will be difficult for the coachee to open up, and truly be honest with both the coach and himself.

Trust is also essential because some might find it challenging to be coached. We all fear change, and being coached naturally entails change, because you are opening up to new possibilities and new ways of thinking. For some this might seem scary, so a coach needs to focus on making the coachee feel safe, empowered and ready for change.

There are five key processes that a coach can utilize in a coaching situation. These are listening, mirroring, summarizing, questioning and catalyzing. Personally, I feel that these five processes are all part of one great process. Listening is of course the base for the whole coaching session. It’s important for the coachee to feel heard and to feel that his perspective and his thoughts matter.  And you show that you listen by following the four next processes and perhaps highlighting some of the key words he used. The fifth key process, catalyzing, seems like a more active role, where you show your commitment and passion for wanting to help the coachee. This, I believe, will in turn motivate the coachee and help build trust.

So to sum it up, I believe a good coach helps you realize what you want and how to get there.

hey Girls,
I found a nice pic that can illustrate the definition of a coach.

Tell me what do you think about this?

Definition of a coach

Definition of a coach by Agata Swieciochowska

From all the readings and researches that I made I came up with a definition of a coach. I am not quite certain if I think correctly, but this is how I understood it.

A coach is a person that has been trained to help other people to reach their goals and objectives. He helps them to awake and reveal their own potential. It’s not a onetime process; it’s a long term exercise that enables individuals to reach concrete goals and results in their professional and personal life. And it really depends on the motivation of the coachee, if he wants to see results very quickly then he has to work seriously.  Through such a process the coachee is learning more about himself and what he is able to do, with the development of his skills in order to discover even more about the profile of his personality.

It is also important to notice that a coach is only here to help you to ask yourself the right questions, he is not advising. He is like a guide that is putting us against our own fears and guides us to our own autonomy. Also a coach is not an expert in a technical domain as an adviser can be.

Being a coach can’t be assimilated to a therapist neither, because when we are coming to a coach we feel good but we want to feel even better. We are not discussing the past with him but only the present and the future in order to increase our performance.

He is a neutral person, this is why he has a neutral point of view, so can’t be part of our family or friends because, they tend to be more engaged into the situation. As said before, a coach is not the person who is going to give the answers to what you need. No, he is going to help the coachee to be able to “say it” and “do it”.

A coach can be specialized in different areas. But they present all common characteristics: they want to be seen as partners, because they adapt to your personality, respecting your rhythm of life in order to really wake you up to your potential. He is supporting unconditionally his client; he is encouraging, inspiring in order to maintain the action.

A professional coach is not giving you a diagnosis like a doctor or a grade like a teacher; he is not imposing actions that need to be taken by the coachee in order to succeed faster.

In my opinion it’s really difficult to be a good coach, because when someone is coming to me and is explaining me his goals then I tend to give him advises on how he or she should do or behave, because of my previous experience for example. But reading these articles I figured out, that I am not even really helping them!

Every human being is different, and has its own objectives. A coach is only here to help him to bloom like a flower on his own, with HIS potential. 

Hi everyone!

Welcome to our blog. This is a coaching blog for the course MNG-6133 Developing Management Skills at Université Laval.



Team members:
Agata Swieciochowska
Zahra Errouaki
Ingrid Elisabeth Sorensen